Reviews @ PXDCO

First of all, I apologize for getting this 'Prison Break' recap up so late, but I've been waiting in line to vote all day. Just so you know, I wrote in 'William Fichtner' for President. What about you? Did you vote today? I hope so. More Prison Break after the jump…

 

 

MICHAEL AND CREW - Now that the team's got Wyatt as a hostage (thanks to the bitch-ass actions of the now-dead Roland), they decide to intimidate him into calling the General and telling him that he's killed everyone he's been after all this time, thereby getting a little bit of the heat off their backs. Wyatt's not playing, though, so after failing miserably at trying to strike a deal with Sarah, Mahone practically begs everyone to let him do it his way. No dice, Alex, they all say, but Don Self assures that he'll get his turn at Wyatt when the time is right. See, Don lost a kid in the past, too, so he knows what all that must feel like. Settle down there, Alex. All in good time.

 

By putting together what clues they do have in the bird book pages (those of which aren't still being held captive by Gretchen, anyway), Michael deduces that their path to Scylla lies right where the map tells them - right through the big hole in T-Bag's office and into Company headquarters. I wonder if there's a big neon sign on Company headquarters that says "COMPANY HEADQUARTERS". That would be awesome. Kinda like how SPECTRE from the old James Bond movies had that cool octopus insignia. Anyway, the team heads to T-Bag's office to begin their expedition, and no sooner has he closed the door behind them that T-Bag has to begin to deal with the disappearance of his former boss. You know, the one they killed last week and submitted a resignation letter for. We'll get to talking more about T-Bag's adventures in a minute, but just know that he definitely had his hands (hand?) full while all the other guys were digging right beneath his feet.

 

Michael, Lincoln, Sucre and Bellick follow the map downward, and before long, they come across the large obstacle that they didn't know what to make of on the map. It's a doozy, alright - one of the main water pipes for the Los Angeles water supply lies directly in their path. They can't dig under or over it, so Michael comes up with one of his cockamamie schemes and decides that the best way around the sucker is to go straight through it. After Michael sends Lincoln and Bellick on a mission to cut the pipe's power at the conveniently-placed electrical station which is seemingly no more than 100 yards away and ridiculously easy to break into, the rest of the crew removes the outer sleeve of the enormous pipe and waits. Lincoln and Bellick make quick work of cutting the power, and for some mysterious reason, the water in the pipe is cut off, thereby allowing Michael and Sucre to begin cutting into a hole in it that the sleeve will fit into. Essentially, they're creating a tunnel right through the center of the enormous water pipe.

 

However, once they start cutting the hole in the pipe, Michael has one of his headaches and can barely stand as a result. Sucre covers for him the best he can, but the point is made - whatever is in Michael's head is getting worse. I know we got the story about how it's a brain tumor or whatever, but personally, I hope it's something else. Like maybe when he was in Fox River, Stacy Keach's character secretly abducted him one night and put a tracking device in his head or something. Hey look! A monkey just wrote MacBeth!

 

Sucre finishes the hole one side of the pipe, and then climbs inside to cut another, thereby completing the makeshift tunnel to slip the giant pipe sleeve into. How phallic. To build a little tension, Sucre's cutting torch gives out, and the guys have to pound out the rest of the hole on the opposite side with sledgehammers. Lincoln and Bellick return then, and it's up to them to climb through the tunnel and pull the sleeve through it. Not much problem there, except when they get about halfway through, the wooden beam they're balancing the pipe sleeve on breaks, thereby making it seem pretty much impossible to complete the task. To get the pipe sleeve through the holes and complete the tunnel would require someone to go on a suicide mission by standing inside the main pipe and guide it through. Did I mention that the power to the main pipe has been turned back on now, and an enormous wall of water is mere moments away from tearing through the very area that the team is working? Well, it is. Lincoln thinks all is lost, but fortunately for him and the rest of the team, Bellick decides to take one for the team and take on the suicide mission. He climbs inside the pipe, guides the sleeve through the holes, and then stands there waiting as the enormous wall of water bears down on him, closing his eyes at the last second. Man, that sucks. I've always liked Bellick in a weird sort of way. I'm glad they let him go out with at least a little bit of honor. Oh, and with some pants on, too. That always helps.

 

 

T-BAG - Teddy started out this week's adventure by letting the rest of the team into the closet behind his office so they could begin their search for Scylla, but it got a lot hairier for him soon enough. He's soon confronted by his boss about what the hell happened to the co-worker he and Gretchen killed last week. T-Bag hems and haws his way through most of it (after making a quick phone call to Gretchen to make sure she hid the body well enough), but he brings an end to the questioning by passing off the real Cole Pfeiffer's falsified sales records as that of his dead co-worker's. That solution buys T-Bag a little time in getting the Feds off his ass and out of his office, but I'm sure it's only temporary. You KNOW they're going to discover that all T-Bag did was have his lovely secretary Trishanne falsify the records and then come scrambling back to investigate the case further.

 

MAHONE AND WYATT - It's no secret that I'm a big fan of the character Alex Mahone and the way William Fichtner chooses to play him every week. This week's episode brought our favorite pill-popping ex-FBI agent a bit of closure and redemption, and man, was it ever fun to watch. Mahone could barely contain himself when the team brought Wyatt into the warehouse as their hostage, and it wasn't long before he finally convinced Don Self to let him handle the big guy himself. Granted, Don had already gotten the team off the hook with Wyatt's bosses by making a phony audio recording of him stating that Michael and the rest of the crew were dead, and then playing it over the phone right into the ear of the General, but still - I cheered when Don finally gave in and gave Mahone the license to kill he'd been begging for for weeks now. Let a playa play, Don.

 

Not only did Mahone get medieval on Wyatt's ass, but he got medieval AND technological, too. First of all, he jammed a huge 5-inch needle directly into his finger. Lengthwise. Yeah, ow. Then, if that weren't enough, he hooked the needle into a electric heart monitor. Wyatt may have wanted to pass out from the pain of the needle in his finger, but thanks to Mahone, the heart monitor shocked Wyatt back into conciousness every time his heart rate dropped below 50. What was all the point of this? Well, besides the fact that it gave Mahone a really big boner to be torturing the guy who killed his son for absolutely no reason, he also wanted to get Wyatt into the right state of mind. Wyatt had a phone call to make, you see, and that phone call was to Mahone's ex-wife Pam. Mahone made him apologize to her for killing their son, and when that was over, so was Wyatt. Mahone chained a concrete block around his hands, took him outside on the pier, and then pushed him into the ocean. Bye Wyatt.

 

GRETCHEN AND THE GENERAL - Much like last week's venture into girl-on-girl S&M with Sara, this is where the episode got pretty ridiculous. And gross. First of all, the General didn't take last episode's attempt to steal his Scylla card lightly, and to compensate for that, he wants the entire Scylla operation (whatever the hell it turns out to be) out of Los Angeles like now. However, his assistant Lisa tells him it can't be done, that Scylla is far too complex and fragile to be moved so quickly. She later backtracks on this story and tells him that Scylla can be moved the next day. Well, that was quick. What, did she find a moving van that could be rented cheaply enough, or what? Here's the big question for the rest of the season, though - Will Scylla be moved in time before Michael and crew to get to it? Did Bellick's sacrifice for the team wind up being in vain? Well, we'll see. I'm thinking no, but then again, there's always Season 5 to be thinking about.

 

As for Gretchen, she's got a little score to settle with the General, so she busts into his office with a gun. Remember way back at the beginning of the season when the General pretty much left her for dead out in the middle of the desert? Well, so does Gretchen, dammit, and she wants answers. The General tells her that he had to do it, and he backs that totally flimsy answer up by KISSING Gretchen and calling her 'his girl'. Blargh! I guess she and the General have some sort of history together, and because of it, Gretchen melts under his power. Personally, I'm not buying it. She's a total hard-ass that really doesn't seem the type to be wooed by a wrinkly old peanuthead like The General, so I'm willing to bet she's keeping her enemies closer than her friends on this one just to see how far it will get her. Clever girl. Oh, and I'm totally predicting a bad-ass catfight between Gretchen and Lisa, the General's assistant. Awesome. Somebody out in Hollywood better be on the phone with the black leather catsuit people like NOW.

 

BITS AND PIECES - 

 

I'll spare you all the obligatory question of whether or not the General was drinking MacCutcheon scotch. However, being that it's Election Day, I had to giggle at his referring to Gretchen as his pitbull. You know what the difference is between a pitbull and a black ops secret agent like Gretchen? Pitbulls can act. (Just kidding, Gretchen. Please don't take off your shirt and ask me to beat you. Then again, please do.)

 

Finally, some clarity on what the hell Laos was being used as a testing ground for! The Company essentially crushed the economy of the tiny country, forcing its people to run to them for salvation, i.e. enormous financial bailout. The Company plans to do the same thing to the United States, thereby controlling virtually every infrastructure in the country. Yes, because I'm sure the infrastructure of the tiny little popcorn fart that is Laos is in every way similar to that of the United States.

 

So is that really the end for Bellick? Like, really? I'm kinda hoping he ends up surviving in some totally off-the-wall way, which I'm certain is the case, given which show it is we're all watching. What if he turns up in the sewer system inside Sona and needs the rest of the crew to come break him out again? Season 5, here we come!

 

If you think my theory about how Bellick might come back is ridiculous, then you probably don't want to hear about how I think Wyatt's going to escape getting the Jimmy Hoffa treatment. Trust me on that.

 

That's enough for now. Time to go watch the election results to see some REAL greatness being achieved.

 

-littlebigmouth.